I See Japan Got The 2020 Olympics - So What?

By reading the headlines, you can tell that my thoughts on Japan, or rather Tokyo, being awarded the 2020 Olympic Games are not all that positive.

Yeah... like many people, I enjoy the Olympics. I thought the London Games were spectacular, from the athletic events to the opening and closing shows. And China's showpiece at the end of those games points to a spectacular forthcoming effort as well.

Look... I'm sure the Tokyo Games will be great. But, ever since the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, USA, the Games have been less about the athletes and more about ego of the country hosting it.

Yes, everyone wants to win a medal and have country bragging rights. I don't begrudge the athletes that. But it's the host country - not just the city - that puts on a brave face and tries to be ego maniacal without being ego maniacal.

Japan will have no problem doing that. Japan has pride. A whole lot of pride. In fact... it's pride that has led to much of its downfall in recent years.

From a crappy economy to no longer being recognized for its home electronics industry prowess... or its robotics... to being known as that radioactive country.

Yeah... Japan and Fukushima and TEPCO (Tokyo Electric Power COmpany) are all over the news in North America... and for all the wrong reasons, no matter what anyone thinks.

Japan, because of its continued mishandling of the nuclear disaster that is Fukushima, has most of the world shaking its collective head in derision.

They can't even stop radioactive waters from leaking into the ocean some two-and-a-half years after the fact.

What happened to the great geniuses?

They are in over their head and simply aren't asking for enough help. The fact that TEPCO is still even remotely involved is a joke.

But whatever.

Tokyo beat out Istanbul, Turkey and Madrid, Spain.... because the IOC (International Olympic Committee) is a joke. Madrid currently has 80% of its venues already built and used for other purposes. The costs would be a lot less... which was why of the three cities, it was the first one out. Istanbul... maybe people are afraid of the Turks as being... what, exactly? The crossroads of Asia and Europe? That would have been nice... but it wasn't enough.

Japan is a safe country?

Positives:
Sure... little gun violence. The people are friendly and polite. It's clean. It already has a decent infrastructure of Olympic caliber facilities in place so there won't be much construction required.

Negatives:
1) It already has a decent infrastructure of Olympic caliber facilities in place so there won't be much construction required.

Didn't I just say that was a positive? Well, it's also a negative. In a country looking to kickstart a crappy economy, the construction industry is a major thing to have up. But with a lot of facilities in place, Japan (it's not really just a city that pays for things) will not get the opportunity to really revitalize the construction industry.

2) Japan is kind of up in arms with a couple of its neighbors right now... specifically China and Russia... you know... disputes about ownership of a bunch of islands... so much so that everyone is ready to go to war, or at least ready to bump ships and violate each other's air space with planes in defiant shows of force.

3) A show of force that makes Japan's leaders want to scrap its current Constitution for something more warlike. Sure the current constitution assures that people in Japan (its citizens) get a lot of rights, including women... because the one previous didn't (then again, few countries did offer women any rights)... but Japan now wants back the right to make war.. and by that I mean it wants the right to create its own army and air force and navy... things that were stripped away from it after its nastiness during WW2.

Nowadays, if Japan does need it help with defense, countries like the US are there to provide it. What's wrong with getting a little help? Ego.

4) Fukushima. Here's a part of the country so screwed up, that two years later we are still finding out new ways about how Japan is incompetent. Leaks still, but what is particularly galling is the fact that there are still many people displaced from their homes and jobs because of the March 11, 2011 9.0 Magnitude earthquake, tsunami(s) and near meltdown of a few nuclear reactors that are still leaking radioactive water into the earth and surrounding waters. The people and cities and towns of Fukushima still need money... but no... Japan and Tokyo are going to spend it over the next 6+ years to help make Tokyo look prettier than it already is... so that the rest of the world sees that Japan is a-ok. Yeah, no one in Fukushima is starving to death, but the heart of many displaced citizens is dying.

Of course, Prime Minister Abe Shinzo (surname first) did fly over to Buenos Aires, Argentina where the IOC was partying and selecting and announcing the 2020 winner, to personally state that the Fukushima radioactive thing would not pose a health risk to anyone in Tokyo. And the IOC agreed. They all celebrated with a glass of Kool-Aid brought in by Abe. Tokyo is far enough away from Fukushima that no one will ever see its ugly radioactive side.

Members of the Japanese delegation celebrate after Tokyo was awarded the 2020 Olympic Games. Photograph: Victor R. Caivano/AP. Now let's have a drink and get some hookers.

Oh yes... Japan's Olympic delegation also included a princess! And someone physically disabled... I mean challenged... I mean a paralympian. You can't vote against someone who brought in a disabled woman and a princess.

Princess Takamado, is a member of Japan's Royal family who rarely leaves the country for reasons of protocol... so this Olympic bid must have been very important to her.Yeesh.

As well, Paralympic long jumper Sato Mami, was there. Sato's home town was hit by the tsunami. She's also gorgeous, but you can't dissuade the power of a physically challenged individual... you wouldn't want the IOC to look heartless would you?

(Personally, I don't give a crap about physical challenged individuals needing special treatment. Treat'em like people, because that's what they are).

Oh... and the Prime Minister said that if Tokyo got the games, it would be a great way for Japan to thank the world for its help re: Fukushima. 

Uh... it still needs help, doesn't it?


I keep asking myself... why did the IOC really choose Japan? Was it really a good, safe choice?

The IOC is hardly a bunch of brainiacs. Some of their past choices for Olympic glory have hardly been stellar ones, hysterically and historically-speaking, of course.

Let's see... they gave Nazi Germany the Games in 1936 (Berlin) ... and the Germans a few years later tried to kill everyone in Europe. Sure... Germany was a good, safe choice. I'll have another Beer Hall Putsch, please. Yes, the 1923 vintage, please.

They gave Tokyo the summer Games and Sapporo the winter Games in 1940... but few recall that seeing as the games were called on account of black rain and WW2. Now Japan hadn't entered it yet (until December 7, 1941 when it attacked Pearl Harbor, Hawaii), but it had been a right royal bitch with its actions in Asia for the 1920s and 1930s. Sure... Japan was a good, safe choice.  

Canceled due to global war - even though Japan wasn't officially involved in it yet.

Oh  yes... in 1944, the IOC also awarded the winter Olympic Games to Cortina d'Ampezzo in Italy (London, Great Britain got the summer ones). Now... you might recall that in 1944, a lot of London had the crap bombed out of it by Nazi Germany during that little skirmish called WW2. And Italy? Well... they were of course the third part of that whole evil Axis of Doom (with Japan and Germany), that tried to take over the world on the battlefield, rather than the sporting arena. Sure... Italy was a good, safe choice.

The Axis... that was two fascist countries and one national socialist. Good, safe choices.

Bravo. My hand clapping sounds a lot like the clucking of my tongue, because that's what I'm doing. Tsk-tsk.

And now Japan gets the Olympics again. Yes.. since WW2, Japan has been a model global citizen, as has Italy and Germany. And there's a reason why Tokyo got the games in 1964 (a make-up for the one it lost in 1940, perhaps, owing to inclement warfare and global domination attempts). Of course Sapporo and Nagano got the winter Olympic Games in 1972 and 1998, respectively.

I should point out that Cortina d'Ampezzo, Italy got their winter Games back in 1956, and Rome the summer Games in 1960 - before Japan... but that's because they weren't as mean as Japan was during WW2.

And Germany... the baddest of the Trifecta of Badness, they had to wait all the way to 1972 before Munich got it. So good things come to bad things that wait.

I'm not saying that Tokyo 2020 didn't deserve the Olympic Games over Turkey and Spain (Barcelona was nice in 1992)... well I am, actually... but aside from the IOC historically not always doing what's right (Greece has major debt, Nagano was a bust, Montreal and I think Calgary were all financial disasters), but Japan has issues within its own walls that need tending to.

I'm not saying Japan greased any wheels with the IOC, because that would be slander and libel - depending on if I said or wrote that sort of thing - because everyone knows that type of monkey-business never happens.

Just where is Japan, with a crappy economy, getting all of its money from to pay for the reconstruction of the northeast area after the March 11, 2011 trio of disasters? Is it merely printing money willy-nilly? Is that why the value of the Yen went into the crapper? And how will it pay for these Olympic Games?

And... will people come to the Games from outside of Japan? (Yeah, they will). But Japan is such an expensive trip to make and to stay at.

Japan is thinking that it should hire more JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme assistant English teachers, in an effort to further improve the English language capabilities of its youth - to make the world a better place through communication.

Okay... that's nice.

But the last time I checked, there are 204 member countries in the IOC. Many of them do speak English, so having more assistant English teachers will perhaps help...

But, many Olympic athletes and followers speak other languages... like German, and Italian to name a couple of popular warring partners. And Spanish and Portuguese, Mandarin, Hindi, Arabic, Russian, Turkish, Ukrainian, Polish, Dutch, French, Uzbek, Swahili, Khmer, Greek and maybe even whatever it is that the Australians speak.

Will Japan ask for more JET teachers to teach any of those languages or any of the other 150?

Look... I would have been very proud if Toronto ever won the right to host the Olympics, but dammit... I already spend 40-60 minutes in my car to get home from work (I leave an hour BEFORE the bad part of rush hour starts!)... and I work at around the mid-point of the city, and live on its outskirts. Can you imagine the traffic if we got the Games? The construction projects that would pop up that would screw up my commute? The subway system is not quite at Tokyo-levels yet... but what will things be like 6+ years from now? Better, right? Riiiii-iiight.

Tokyo, Japan... congratulations on winning the 2020 Olympic Games. Ganbate, kudasai (Do your best, please)... you're going to need it.

Cheers
Andrew Joseph

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Why Japan Attacked The US In WW2

Subtitle: Or… How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb(s).

(Yes... Tokyo won the 2020 summer Olympic Games. Congratulations. I have my own views on this particular win, and I'll post them in a blog 12+ hours after this one.)

Have you ever wondered why Japan—a country hell-bent on making Asia its bitch during the 1930s and 40s decided to declare war on the U.S. and attack the U.S Protectorate country of Hawaii and bomb the US naval base at Pearl Harbor?

Also… by getting involved in war, Japan created a larger communist red menace, ushered in the atomic age, and helped bring terrorism to a new level. Maybe…  

The US… for two solid years it had steadfastly refused to enter into World War 2 - despite neighbor Canada joining in with fellow Commonwealth countries like India, Australia and New Zealand (to name just a few)… to help Great Britain fend off the terror that was Nazi Germany.

Germany wanted all of Europe. Italy's goal was to take over Africa… and Japan, as mentioned wanted Asia.

Vee are ze vorld.... vee are ze kinder...

So why on Earth would anyone want to piss of the U.S. and get them involved in the war they always said was "Europe's war"?

Japan would.

But what would make them think they could actually stretch their forces across all of Asia and take on the United States?

Ego? Mental unsuitability?  Yes. But whose?

The Japanese face of the war had always been Tōjō Hideki (surname first), who was the 40th prime minister of Japan from October 17, 1941 - to July 22, 1944.

People always say that Tōjō was the main man responsible for starting the US entry into the war - and perhaps he was - but Tōjō was NOT in office when planning for the war between Japan and the US had first been plotted.

(Tōjō, after the war, was sentenced to death for war crimes by the International Military Tribunal for the Far East, and was hung (and how) on December 23, 1948.)

So… if it wasn't Tōjō's idea to attack the US, who the hell thought this was a good idea?Apparently there were a lot of politicians and military persons who thought Japan was strong enough to beat everyone. Now that's ego.

Didn't anyone say it was a bad idea? No. But some did say it wasn't ready - yet.

Remember that old Japanese saying about how you must respect your elders? Or that the nail that stands up gets hammered down?

That is Japan.

So who was responsible for the belief that Japan could take on the US and her allies and win in Asia?

Meet Lt. General Suzuki Teiichi (surname first) of the Imperial Japanese Army. Before the war, and during it, Suzuki was a key Cabinet member of the Japanese government (Minister of State), and was the head of the Cabinet Planning Board—a very, very important Board that dictated the allocation of resources for Japan's Army, Navy and civilians.

Suzuki somehow came to the conclusion that even though Japan was already at war with China (not a small country - but one that was already being occupied by Japan), that even with the bother of China, Japan could also take on (and win) against the U.S., Great Britain and Netherlands… all had islands and lands they claimed as their own in Asia.

(Editor's Note: I would like to say that Japan's incursions into China helped bring about the communist party in China, finally going red on October 1, 1949. Thanks a lot, Japan. You poked the commie panda bear.)

On November 5, 1941, Suzuki read aloud a 16-page document to Japanese Emperor Hirohito, Prime Minister Tōjō and other national leaders during an imperial conference, whereby he explained Japan's logistical strengths.

All well and good, except for one thing: Suzuki lied.

Suzuki had padded a few numbers… some very key numbers... numbers that led Japan to believe its soon-to-be enemies were weak, and that Japan actually had the resources to take on and win a war of this magnitude.

Fudged figures include the projected losses of transport ships carrying oil and and strategic materials from areas in Southeast Asia… key areas that would be hit hard if Japan was at war with the US.

Oil, as it has been for the past 130 years, is one of the keys to running a good war.

Prior to August 1, 1941, Japan got 70% of its oil from the U.S. because they were on friendly terms and good trading partners.

But, on August 1, 1941, US president Franklin Delano Roosevelt decided to punish Japan after it (Japan) had gone into French Indochina by saying it would cut off Japan's supply of oil. At the time, of course, France had been run over by Nazi Germany… and had set up the German-controlled Vichy government in France.It was thought that Germany had requested - or suggested - that Japan might want to do the invasion thing, without any issues from Germany.

Remember… Japan was already heavily involved in conquering Asia in a war it had started years earlier. The US was still not at war with anyone at this time.

With no more oil coming in from the US, Japan had two choices: 1) it could give in to US demands and step out of French Indochina, or 2) it could stay and go to war against the Allies to take over the oil-rich countries in Southeast Asia.

Pinky: What do you want to do today, Brain?
The Brain: Try and take over the world!

As of August 1, 1945, Japan had stockpiled over 7-million tons of oil.

However, since it used 10,000 tons a day, Japanese projections showed that there would be no more oil left (not including costs for an enlarged war) by December of 1942.

Here's where Suzuki comes in.

Japan wondered if it should it take over the Dutch East Indies in Southeast Asia for its oil - and if it did, could it get the oil from there shipped out to places where it would be needed, including Japan proper.

Suzuki told his captive audience the first lie:

Truth: Japan, in a war against the US, would lose shipping capacity of 800,000 to 1-million tons a year… and that its ship building capacity was only 600,000 tons a year. That's a loss. They would lose capacity faster than it could rebuild. Japan would eventually lose all its oil transport ships.

The Lie: Without an explanation, Suzuki provided numbers that indicated that NO, Japan would not have a negative transport capacity.

And… everyone at the Imperial Conference believed him. Why? Because he gave numbers which said so… and everyone believed that Suzuki would only speak the truth.

The Lie Explained: The numbers Suzuki based his conclusions on were based on conclusions supplied by the Japanese Imperial Navy… an optimistic calculation that said it would lose fewer ships the longer the war continued.

Here's the thing… those numbers and scenarios were based on World War I data. Yup. Data that was accurate as late as 1919 (some 22 years later - the irony of that number is not lost on me).

Not only was this data 20 years out of date, it only included damages from other enemy ships. It did not even take into account enemy aircraft because aviation through 1919 was still in its infancy (see my other blog Pioneers Of Aviation for excellent historical background: HERE.)

Consider the Japan built its modern navy thanks to help from former ally Great Britain. Read about that from a story I wrote HERE.

So… for Japan… an ability to have oil with acceptable losses was key… but the numbers supporting a positive outcome were insufficient and outdated, but no one knew the numbers were old and outdated except for Suzuki.

Wow.

It gets worse. Suzuki had, at one time, been vociferous against attacking the US because he KNEW that the US had greater industrial strength than Japan.

For example, in 1941, the US Gross National Product (GNP) was 12 times larger than Japan.

As well, the US produced 12 times more crude steel; five times more ships and aircraft than Japan.

Twelve times the ability to make war.

So why did Suzuki change his mind and go from being a dove (sort of) to a rah-rah let's go to war guy?

Apparently he was bullied. Pressured, if you will… urged to see the correctness of things by a senior Japanese army officer (perhaps General Tōjō who became Prime Minister on October 17 of 1941).

In fact... Suzuki had spoken out against warring against the US earlier in the summer, but by October 30, 1941, perhaps egged on by his new hawkish friends, Suzuki officially came out and began to side with those who wanted war with the U.S.

And… he was willing to lie to ensure it happened.

Was this due to the urgings of Tōjō, if not directly, then through agents?

Why would Prime Minister Tōjō insist Suzuki change his tune? Because of Japan's Constitution, of course.

The Meiji Constitution Being Read. From: www.aboutjapan.japansociety.org.

The archaic Meiji Constitution of 1899 states that: No national leader could get rid of a Cabinet member… and if even ONE Cabinet member resisted the Prime Minster, then entire Cabinet would HAVE to resign.

Knowing that Suzuki would be a thorn in his plans for war, Tōjō somehow got Suzuki to change his stance. Money, power, women? Everyone has a price...

Because Japanese government and army and naval officers did not want to show weakness (ask a samurai if he though he would win a battle - and he would always say he would not lose), it had to agree that it could win a war against the US et al.

In fact, Japan's Imperial Navy had, for years, earned large budgets by convincing everyone it needed to prepare for a possible war for the U.S.  - because you just never knew when the US (or others) would get pissed off at Japan's attitude in Asia.(Recall that Suzuki was also involved in dispersing money to the Military as part of his government job.)

As such… the Imperial Navy, ready or not, had to say it had the resources.

Therefore, with Japan's Army and Navy refusing to admit weakness, plus a hawk Prime Minster who was backed up by a patsy (Suzuki) who was willing to present real data (just not current data) to back-up Japan's military strengths… Japan was ready to go to war against the US.

The military put its own selfish interests above those of its people… and that's how Japan thought it could enter a war with the US and her allies and win.

Everyone was fooled… except for the Japanese who wanted the war… oh, and eventually the US and her allies. And yes… Japan's inability to control it's Asian territories and inability to transport oil to its military components led to its eventual decision to die trying to not lose. It wouldn't win the war, but it would never lose a war. Hence… the kamikaze. Hence… the atomic bombs… hence the nuclear age. Read all about that HERE.

Anyhow… thanks to the lying government and aggressive military (make war and pieces!)… Japan's World War 2 numbers (not including anything prior to December 7, 1941) was a Japanese death toll of 3.1-million people… including 800,000 non-military, common citizens.

Of course… many millions more died fighting with and against Japan.

Now... on the plus side... as stupid as it sounds... Japan getting the US involved did help sway the outcome of the war. No US in the war, and all of Europe (not exterminated in a death camp) would be Deutsch sprechen or Asia would be turning Japanese. The Italians, bless'em, would probably have just created even better soccer teams in Africa.

And now Japan's government wants to create a new constitution that allows it to once again build its own military. Personally, I don't have a problem with Japan creating its own Constitution… as long as it doesn't trample on the rights of others. But… we'll have to wait and see on that. So far it's oh for one (0-1) in creating its own constitution.

As for Suzuki...
When WW2 ended, he stood trial along with Tōjō and 26 others accused of war crimes. While Tōjō and six others were convicted and hanged, Suzuki received a life sentence in 1948, but was released from Sugamo Prison in Tokyo in 1955.

I suppose a life sentence just isn't what it's all cracked up to be.

Although Suzuki did go back and work for the government services for a short while, he soon dropped out of the public eye and refused to meet with anyone from the media.

Suzuki died of a heart attack on July 15, 1989 at the age of 100. Now that would have been one hell of a life sentence.

Suzuki was the last remaining defendant of Nuremberg/Tokyo war trials. Nazi Rudolph Hess had committed suicide two years earlier.

Cheers
Andrew Joseph

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Toilet Paper Fit For A Royal Ass

I have indeed sat on the Japanese Royal throne.

I have, in fact, pooped in it.

All of this occurred while I was in the Nikko area of Tochigi-ken, Japan doing a spot of what some people call fishing, but what I call "owww, please take that hook out of the back of my neck."

Really. I hooked my own neck. 

My pal Michael Hutchison had invited me from my haunts of Ohtawara-shi to his house in Nikko. His gorgeous wife was an AET (assistant English teachers) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme back in 1991, while he worked with the fisheries department, specifically on Japan's trout species.

So I went fishing for Rainbow trout at Lake Chuzenji (Chuzenji-ko). I took the photo below that day.

Chuzenji-ko (Lake Chuzenji) in Nikko. Photo by Andrew Joseph. That's me!

Anyhow… after much luck for the fish, I had to poop. Michael took me around to a secret area - a small building with a toilet - where the Emperor would go poop when he came up to fish in the area… and so, I have boldly gone where no man has ever dared go before.

Now… while I was sitting there, I didn't see any toilet paper… but since this is Japan, I always carry a pack of tissues with me for just such an emergency, though I will admit it wasn't too often that I had to poop in public. There is no toilet paper in a Japanese public washroom.

He doesn't want you to pull his finger... he wants you to smell it. Ahhhh, Japan. It smells like a Royal Flush.

But really? No toilet paper in the Emperor's private toilet in Nikko? Did he also carry around a small pack of tissue with cute green frogs on it, because even though the US says he's not a God, he knows he is still a God, and God knows that when you gotta poop, ya gotta poop.

But back home… what would the Emperor use? It would have to be something special…. I mean… he actually has his own chopsticks made by a man officially designated as a National Living Treasure. I know, because before I left Ohtawara-shi, the Living Treasure presented me with a number of chopsticks personally carved by him.

That's what they said... I'm sure I was drunk at the time.

Anyhow… for the past five years, the Emperor of Japan has had his ass pampered by a brand of toilet paper called Hanebisho that costs about US/Cdn $17 a roll… but of course, it only comes (officially) in packs of three (¥5,000) or eight for ¥10,000.

At least they are cutting the Emperor a deal.

Now.. of course, Hanebisho is not just a toilet paper made ONLY for the Emperor's new groove or his family… they will make it for anyone who thinks their ass matches their wallet.

But… one would wonder… they only make 150 rolls of toilet paper a day.

Hanebisho is a work of (f)art.

I myself have gone through about half that amount after a night of drinking and debauchery (they are exclusive, as I did not say 'drunken debauchery').

With such a small output—the toilet paper manufacturer's output… I have no idea what sort of output the Emperor has—I might assume (never assume) that their entire output is solely for the Japanese Royal family.

So… what is so special about this toilet paper?

Well… first off, the paper comes from the highest quality wood fiber pulp from Canada. (Yay, Canada!). The pulp is then treated with water from the Niyodo-gawa (Niyodo River) in Shikoku, Japan. Shikoku is the smallest of the four main islands of Japan, and is immediately east of the island of Kyushu.

Editor's note: All the stories I have read on this product on the Internet simply state that the river mentioned is the Nyodo River, but does not state where that is. I couldn't find it. 

Hey... (trumpeting own horn) at least I do my best to find the correct information, rather than blindly copying the original source that got it wrong (clucking his tongue derisively). 

But, I did find a Niyodo-gawa, and it is therefore my assumption that it should state the Niyodo River… which, was the #1 river in 2010 according to the Japanese National River Water Quality ranking.

Because the toilet paper is made with heat, to provide a soft, and I mean royally soft ply, it is dried slower than regular toilet paper… which makes it extra light and fluffy.

And, because every day's heat and humidity is different, the company adjusts its drying process, so you can be sure that any roll of toilet paper made on different days is never made the same way. That's quality assurance. That's why only 150 rolls a day.

Now… as a watermark… to denote how special it is, the manufacturer writes its name and date of production on each roll… and each roll is then sent along to the company president who personally inspects it.

I have no idea if that means giving it a feel test. Get it? Like a field test! I kill me.

Actually, the president just rubs it against his own skin. So... every time the Emperor wipes his butt, he can be sure the toilet paper has been handled by someone else first. But lovingly.   

Child: "Okaaaaaaa-san! I'm making poopies!"

 Mother: "Me, too!"

Now… this is JUST the bare ass paper itself. It still needs to have some beautiful art applied to it, so that that each piece assuredly is a piece of sh!t art. Damn you, Auto-Correct!

I could not determine how many PLY this toilet paper is… but I hope it's a minimum of three-ply.

One-ply? The Emperor is just going to poke his thumb through it and get royal fecal matter upon his royal self, says Andrew bowing in respect. It can happen with two-ply, as well.

When the roll is finished being created, each roll must now be individually wrapped... to stop dirt from getting on it before you get sh!t all over it.

Each roll is hand-wrapped in special Japanese paper known as Tosa-washi… which comes only from Kochi-ken (Kochi Prefecture). To be sure, though, Tosa-washi paper is made from three fibers: Kozo, Gampi, Mitsumata AND... a bit of hemp grown in The Philippines. Hemp is a close relative to marijuana, but lacks the THC content to provide a high... or it does posses the THC, but there's isn't enough for the high. Or maybe it does get your ass high. See PaperConnection.com for more about Tosa-washi. 

Depending on the quantity (three or eight), each roll is then placed in special decorative boxes handmade by artisans in Kyoto. Apparently the interior of each handmade box is covered in silver leaf.  

The Hanebisho website says its "the ultimate in softness and Japanese modern design".

It also says that it feels "as if your skin is being gently swathed in silk."

All well and good, but this is an ass, we are talking about. Still, I guess nothing's too extravagant for the Emperor. I heard he has a new suit, too. 

My ass is jealous… even though it has sat on the Royal throne once. It deserves a roll of Hanebisho.

Let's end this now. I'm wiped.

Cheers,
Andrew Joseph 
PS: I've had some fun with the photo captions, with the actual images taken from the Hanebisho website, which is www.fuwafuwa-roll.com... Fuwafuwa is a Japanese kiddie-way of saying how soft and fluffy something is. I constantly had junior high students (girls) making me comfortably by coming up to me to stroke my arm hair while saying that. Although I found it creepy, and so did some of their classmates who would whack them on the back of the head, it is actually soft and fluffy, as use a conditioner.
The actual page for the Emperor's bog roll is HERE.

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Deep-Fried Soup At KFC Japan

My arteries are hardening just thinking about how deliciously deadly this could be.

Deep-fried soup? But only in Japan? I bet it's finger-lickin' good! Medic!

Starting September 5, 2013, KFC Japan has begun selling deep-fried corn potage fritters - fried balls of corn soup.

The Corn-Fried potage is not actually a soup, though. Unlike regular soup, which is thinner and more watery, a portage is thicker and creamier… it has substance. And... since it has substance, it is easier to deep-fry. Pottage is French for "Mind your business... okay... if you must know, it means 'potted dish'."

I love the French!

It looks like a chicken nugget with cheese and corn bits… and I'm pretty sure I've got something that looks just like that lodged within my intestinal tract right now.

You are welcome for that visual, by the way.

It's crunchy on the outside and creamy and soft on the inside. So yeah, Japan… you can eat it with chopsticks... but this is KFC Japan! Pick it up and eat it with your fingers.

Still... which boggles the mind first? The fact that someone is deep-frying a liquid or that someone came up with this combination?

In Japan… Coca-Cola (Green Tea flavor) and Pepsi-Cola (HERE) have been going head-to-head and toe-to-toe trying to come up with either the most disgusting, intriguing or tasty flavors and flavor combinations.

Japan already has amongst a myriad of bizarre flavorful treats:
1) The black hot dog - which gets its color from edible bamboo charcoal powder. The bun on the black hamburgers at Burger King Japan are also colored with the same charcoal powder, yet the buns on the McDonald's version of the black hamburger are colored with squid ink.

Photo from http://www.odditycentral.com.

2) Pepsi-flavored Cheetos

3) Clam-Flavored Doritos

Why deep-fry a corn soup? No idea… but Japan's latest fad is to slurp back a nice bowl of corn soup… and perhaps because it has finally grown tired of eating rice over the past several thousand years, the Japanese have also begun eating corn-flavored snacks…

Hey! Japan! Welcome to the 20th Century!

I know it's the 21st Century…

Anyhow… Japanese people are sucking back corn pottage soups all over the country—at convenience stores (gods help you) and high-end cafes.

So hats off to KFC Japan for recognizing a trend and trying to capitalize on it. KFC sure knows deep fried everything….

As for the deep-frying of liquids? I've had a deep-fried Coke once here in Toronto (it's okay. I like Coke for the Coke flavor... and deep-frying it doesn't enhance the flavor)… and I've heard there is deep-fried butter and deep-fried Kool-Aid...but I'm not buying that.

I love how you can take something delicious, though not necessarily the most healthy thing on the menu… deep fry it and turn it into something even more mouth-watering delicious but way more deadly.

Would I eat this? Maybe. I already use an anti-cholesterol med… it doesn't scare me… I recently had some deep-fried brie in a raspberry sauce infused with crushed black pepper—as an appetizer—and it was better than my meal.

It depends on the potage itself. If the originally product is tasty, then a deep-fried version of it could be, too. It just depends on how much oil you can infuse, ne?

But… let's face it. If you want a corn potage… you'll get one. If you want one that is deep-fried, the high-quality taste of the corn potage is not high on your list. It's the experience… and the same for anything deep-fried… though the brie was better than sex. Yeah, I said it.

I'm not going to dismiss the KFC Japan and the Deep-fried corn potage. I haven't tried it, but I'm sure it's tasty.

Any of my friends in Japan up for the taste-test? And then let me know how it is?

Cheers
Andrew "No Soup For You" Joseph

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1955 Ad For Alcohol-Related Headache Relief In Japan

I am unsure if it's just a bit of burnout from work, or from the fact that I have a lot of things on my mind at this time of the year (probably), but I've been feeling... well, blah.

I've been playing a lot of video games and catching up on NETFLIX television shows that I've missed in the past 10 years--not many, but they have been surprisingly good ones.

I've just started watching Mad Men... about the advertising business (sort of) during the early 1960s.

Strange that I never watched it before.... I had always wanted to be an ad man... creating copy for brands... but I never pursued it really.

While I was in university here in Toronto, I took night school classes at Humber College (before I went there for day-school for journalism). I took marketing and advertising courses... and needed just one more course to graduate... but then I graduated university after five long years and immediately went into journalism... and was serious enough about it to concentrate on it, and it alone... except for still coaching women's soccer and teaching piano and clarinet to pay for school and all those date I imagined I would have (but didn't).

Even now, 20 years removed from my last days in Japan, I still view advertisements and judge them on their merits or flaws. If you watch tv nowadays, men are a lot more stupid than they have ever been in the commercials, which is fine since women still do the majority of the purchasing.

Which brings me to 1955 and a copy of the October 20, Nippon Times that was sent to me by Vinnie.

That's it above.... Saridon for head pain relief.

I can't relate... even though I have probably out-drunk many a sailor and Japanese business man in my day. I just don't get hangovers... and only after getting mu nose straightened for a deviated septum - thought it would help correct my sleep apnea (it didn't), whenever the weather changed and it was going to rain heavily... I would get a headache.

But that hasn't happened much over the past three years. No idea why, as I only just realized that.

I used to watch many a Japanese male teacher suffer at school the next day after they dared to take me out for a drink or two ( times six, it would invariably be)... and they would be sucking back asprin and energy drinks and other wonder drugs purported to cure the headache du jour.

According to Wikipedia: Saridon is an analgesic combination indicated for the management of headache, and contains propyphenazone, paracetamol and caffeine, and is said to act just like an asprin. It was first launched by Roche in 1933, containing initially pyrithyldione and phenacetin, widely used remedies for fever and pain. It often took on the form “A.P.C” (aspirin-phenacetin-caffeine) but Saridon was reformulated in 1981; replacing the original ingredient phenacetin with paracetamol before the US FDA recall in 1983. It is available in more than 80 countries across Europe, Latin America, Asia and Africa.

So... apparently it works on a hangover headache... though aside from moderation, the best thing to do is to rehydrate yourself afterward to kiss the headache goodbye. Or so I hear.

I am reprinting the ad contained within the newspaper (on Page 2) because it brings back memories of Japan.

I have actually seen men in Japan beating their heads with their fist while whining about their drinking head... which was always funny to me (not to them) because I always seemed fine enough to piss them off with my stamina or good genes or ability to drink, get drunk and never learn from my mistake attitude.

Is this a good ad? Sort of. It at least grabs your attention... but with the pill box open nearby, it looks like the man in the ad is still suffering as there are imaginary glasses and bottles of booze floating about his tormented head. I suppose it's a warning advertisement... don't let this happen to you, but if it does, get relief.

Something cool and refreshing from me tomorrow... that won't be a piece right out of history. 

Cheers (why do you think I write this all the time?)
Andrew (because I was born in England) Joseph

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Bonin Grosbeak

Here's a look at another Japanese bird that went extinct - sometimes in the 1880s.

Called the Bonin Grosbeak or Bonin Islands Grosbeak (Carpodacus ferreorostris), this bird is a finch that was found only on the Bonin islands... which is weird considering I'm sure most of us have never heard of the Bonin Islands, let alone believe it to be Japanese because it doesn't sound Japanese.

Like a lot of scientific research from the 1800s, you have to take things with a grain of salt. Lots of truths and lots of confusion leading to lots of inconsistencies... and in some cases, actual extinction of a species or two.

I'll give some historical background first on the bird's discovery before giving a description of the bird itself.

Back in 1827, during what was known as the Beechy Pacific expedition, the Bonin Grosbeak was collected as two specimens on Chichi-jima (Chichi Island), one of the islets that make up the Ogasawara Islands (小笠原群島), which are also known as the Bonin Islands.

Well... sort off. Per Wikipedia:

The Bonin Islands consist of three subgroups, which are listed below, along with their main islands:

• Muko-jima Group (聟島列島 Muko-jima Rettō) - formerly Parry Group;
  • Muko-jima (聟島, literally: Bridegroom Island);
  • Yome-jima (嫁島, literally: Bride Island) - formerly Kater I.;
  • Nakōdo-jima or Nakadachi-jima (媒島, literally: Go-between Island);
  • Kita-no-jima (北ノ島 or 北島, literally: Northern Island);
  • Mae-jima - formerly The Ears;
• Chichi-jima Group (父島列島 Chichi-jima Rettō) - formerly Beechey Group;
  • Chichi-jima (父島, literally: Father Island) - formerly Main I./Peel I.;
  • Ani-jima (兄島, literally: Elder Brother Island) - formerly Hog I./Buckland I.;
  • Otōto-jima (弟島, literally: Younger Brother Island) - formerly North I./Stapleton I.;
  • Mago-jima (孫島 literally:Grandchild Island);
  • Higashi-jima (東島 literally East Island)
  • Nishi-jima(西島 literally West Island) - formerly Goat I.;
  • Minami-jima(南島 literally:South Island) - formerly Knorr I.;
• Haha-jima Group (母島列島 Haha-jima Rettō) - formerly Baily Group or Coffin Islands;
  • Haha-jima (母島, literally: Mother Island) - formerly Hillsborough I.;
  • Mukō-jima (向島 literally: Over There Island) - formerly Plymouth I.;
  • Hira-jima or Taira-jima (平島, literally: Flat Island)
  • Ane-jima (姉島, literally: Elder Sister Island) - formerly Perry I.;
  • Imōto-jima (妹島, literally: Younger Sister Island) - formerly Kelly I.;
  • Mei-jima (姪島, literally: Niece Island)

So... the Bonin Islands are three large islands, with lots of smaller islands situated around each, like tiny moons.

Here's more confusing information that should clear things up: The Bonin Islands are an archipelago of over 30 subtropical and tropical islands.... which means that even with that list above, not ever single stinking island  is listed, or large enough to have its own name (at least for Wikipedia). Yeesh.

Anyhow... the chain of islands is about 1,000 kilometers (620 miles) due south of Tokyo.

Want more confusion (and I'm not even at the damn bird yet)? 'Bonin Islands' is the common name in English for Ogasawara Guntō, from the Japanese word bunin (an archaic reading of 無人 mujin), meaning "no people" or "uninhabited".  The only inhabited islands of the group are Chichi-jima (父島), the seat of the municipal government, and Haha-jima (母島) which includes Ogasawara Village.

So... the islands are called the 'uninhabited islands' but two of them are actually inhabited. It seems to me they could have renamed it after it became inhabited.

And... when did people start living there? Sometime JUST before the Bonin Grosbeak became extinct. Probably should have renamed it to No Grosbeak Islands.

Strangely enough, the bird was reported to have existed on both Haha-jima and Chichi-jima, but there are no confirmed sightings or skeletal remains on Haha-jima. They were only officially observed on Chichi-jima.

In 1828, German-born Heinrich von Kittlitz landed on Chichi-jima and took several more specimens of the Bonin Grosbeak - and at this time, also discovered the Bonin Thrush... when five specimens were taken. (More on this bird next.)

Actual specimen collected by Friedrich von Kittlitz in 1828. Image from the Oriental Bird Club.

In 1830... three years after the Beechy Pacific expedition had first discovered the Bonin Grosbeak bird, they returned to rescue two shipwrecked sailors... these two sailors thought that Chichi-jima might be a good place to set up a stopover station for whaling fleets... and so... human settlement began that year.

And what happened to the Bonin Grosbeak? Well... when the Rodgers-Ringgold North Pacific Exploring and Surveying Expedition landed on Chichi-jima in 1854 with the naturalist William Stimpson aboard, he could not find the Bonin Grosbeak.

Stimpson did note that on Chichi-jima, there were many rats, wild goats, sheep, dogs and cats, in addition to the pigs that were already present in 1828 (which Kittlitz had noted were present)... the rest of those critters were left (probably) by Beechey in 1930 to provide provisions for future castaways like the two they had just rescued.

Conclusions: the Bonin Grosbeak became extinct sometime after 1830 and 1854, owing to the introduction of foreign animals that more than likely destroyed the bird's habitat.

The bird is described as a sedentary bird... not shy... usually found singly or in pairs.

It ate fruits and plant buds that it picked fallen from the ground or other low shrubbery.

Although not a land-lubber, the Bonin Grosbeak was not seen to often perch in a tree... in fact, it seemed reluctant to fly.

Vocally, it had a soft, pure and high note—sometimes short, sometimes drawn out; sometimes given singly, sometimes in a short series. (I love that someone thought to collect that bit of information before they bagged and killed the specimens.)

While many specimens were taken during various scientific expeditions, there are a total of 10 specimens extant in 2013.

There appears to differences between the sexes... but even then, there are big differences between just the males (males have the colorful red feathered face)... though such differences could possibly be explained by seasonal variations or (god help us all) if there were several subspecies. Someone do some damn DNA testing.

Anyhow... a Japanese island bird is extinct - killed by destruction of its habitat as instituted by man, though NOT the Japanese. A Japanese bird perhaps never seen by a Japanese person.

Cheers
Andrew Joseph

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US Jet Lands In Rice Paddy

Don't worry. Although the above headline did happen, it was taken from the Nippon Times English-language newspaper of Japan back on October 19, 1955.

I was recently given a few newspapers from that era by good friend and reader Vinnie, and while there is a lot of general news from around the world, there are more than quite a few interesting articles relating to Japan.

Let's check it out:

U.S. Airman Lands Jet in Rice Paddy

By The United Press

A U.S. Air Force pilot has escaped uninjured and saved his jet airplane yesterday when he made a ticklish landing in a rice paddy with a dead engine.
Capt. Manuel R. Grace, of Tuscon, Ariz., guided his F-80 Shooting Star to a rough landing after the jet "flamed out."
"He probably saved the Government $75,000 to $100,000," a Far East Air Force spokesman said.
The spokesman explained that when a jet flames out, the pilot "can bail out or attempt to bring his plane down, but that takes quite a bit of airmanship."
Grace landed in a rice paddy 15 miles north of Tokyo and walked to a telephone to report the mishap. He is assigned to the 15th Attack Reconnaissance Squadron at Yokota Air Base near Tokyo.

Cool, huh?

First off, because no one back in the 1950s would ever specifically state how much an airplane cost in case someone was listening, that range of $75-$100,000 can now actually be narrowed down to a more exact: $93,456 to build a new F-80 Shooting Star, which is an equivalent 2013 value of $814,587.60. Of course, I would assume a more modern jet would have more modern conveniences and would thus cost more than that to build in 2013.

The Yokota Air Base currently houses some 14,000 U.S. military personnel in the city of Fussa, which is a part of the Metropolitan City of Tokyo, in the west.

Although I couldn't find any further information on the amazing Captain Grace to see what type of career he had, or whether he's still around (hope so!), I did find a bit of interesting data on the base, and on his plane.

The Yokota Air Base was actually first known as Tama Airfield, and was built by the Imperial Japanese Army in 1940, and was the site of Japan's airplane testing activities, and was apparently where Harry met Sally (the Japanese met its Axis allies the Italians) for the first time.

According to U.S. reconnaissance, the air base was working with the nearby Nakajima Aircraft manufacturing Musashino plant. The Nakajima Aircraft Company was founded in 1918 and was Japan's first aircraft manufacturing company. Along with a host of bombers and fighters, it was also know (not by me) for it's experimental jet prototypes in 1945: the Kikka (Orange Blossom) and the Karyu (Fire Dragon).

Hmm... I'll have to research these two!

Anyhow... because of its use as a test facility, the U.S. attempted to target it during WWII a total of eight times during the Spring of 1945... but like a Pink Floyd album, Japanese weather always obscured the target (like me and Mt. Fuji), forcing bombers to go to its secondary target. The Nakajima plant was finally bombed in April of 1945, but the Tama Air Base remained untouched.

When the war ended, U.S. Army 1st Cavalry Division arrived at the base on September 4, 1945. They found the buildings intact and about 280 of Japan's then-most modern aircraft sitting in hangars... which, might come as a surprise to many, because Japan had supposedly run out of aircraft thanks to its on-going desperate suicide kamikaze missions... so to have 280 planes sitting in a hangar? Wow.

That will tell you that the Japanese realized that there was little to be gained from further wasting of resources, and did not make its planes available for the kamikaze division. Okay... that's what it tells me. Who knows? I'm sure the truth is out there.

I have a pretty detailed write up on the kamikaze HERE and how samurai stubbornness led to warfare by atomic weaponry.

Now sitting pretty in the former Tama Air Base owned by the Imperial Japanese Army, the 1st Cavalry took it over (spoils of war?) named it first the Fussa Army Airfield, and then by the end of September 1945, the Yokota Army Airfield.

Actually, while the term 'spoils of war' might be considered accurate if you were Japanese, when Japan surrendered, the United States Armed Forces (not the United States government proper) took over the administration authority of Japan.

At this time, the Japanese Imperial Army and the Japanese Imperial Navy were, to put it politely, decommissioned. The US Armed Forces took control over all Japanese military bases. This was all part of the Allies plan to demilitarize Japan that had become increasingly aggressive against Asian neighbors... and in 1947 with a new Constitution of Japan, a no-armed force clause was imposed.

That's why Captain Grace was flying an F-80 Shooting Star jet over Japan.

The XP-80 (experimental pursuit) first flew in January of 1944 and was sent to Europe for action, but the war in Europe concluded before any saw action. The plane was re-designated the F-80 when it was simply known as a 'Fighter', rather than "Pursuit"

The Lockheed F-80 was the first US plane to go faster than 500 miles per hour in level flight (not in a speed-inducing dive), and was the first US jet to be used in combat, when on November 8 (my birthday!), 1950 (not my birthday), Lt. Russel J. Brown flying an F-80C (with the 16th Fighter-Interceptor Squadron) shot down a USSR MiG-15... it was the world's first all-jet fighter aerial combat.

A total of 1,731 F-80s were built, and of those, 798 were called F-80C (a fighter-bomber hybrid) and were used in the Korean war.

Technical Notes:
Armament: Six .50-cal. machine guns and eight 5-in. (127mm) rockets or 2,000 pounds (907.2 kilogram) bombs
Engine: Allison J-33 of 5,400 lbs. (2500 kilograms) thrust (with water-alcohol injection)
Maximum speed: 580 miles per hour (933 kilometers per hour)
Cruising speed: 437 mph (703.3 kph)
Range: 1,090 miles (1754.2 kilometers)
Service ceiling: 46,800 feet (14,264.6 meters)
Wing Span: 38 ft. 10 1/2 in. (11.85 meters)
Length: 34 ft. 6 in. (10.52 meters)
Height: 11 ft. 4 in. (3.454 meters)
Weight: 16,856 lbs. (7,645.8 kilograms) maximum
Crew: One (also 1, in metric)

Specific data (immediately above) on the F-80 is taken from the National Museum of the US Air Force website - a real museum in Ohio that I would like to visit one day. The photo of the F-80C is courtesy of the USAF Museum via Wikipedia.

Cheers,
Andrew Joseph
PS: I love how a simple three-inch piece of newspaper copy that I was going to use as a quick story for tonight ended up as something so much more, as I have to know more about every story to get the complete picture.
Unfortunately, there is not further data on the particular aircraft being dumped in a rice paddy that I can get my hands on, anyway...
and nothing on Captain Grace, which seems a shame. Anyone knows more - please share.

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