Caroline Kennedy has been named as the U.S. ambassador to Japan.
Oh well… Caroline seems to be an interesting choice… though it smacks of a pay-off… which is apparently how politics works… but… despite her helping with US President Obama's campaign, she is a Kennedy after all… the daughter of former President John F. Kennedy, and niece to Senator Ted Kennedy and the late Attorney General Bobby Kennedy.
Good political bloodlines or tragic ones. Obama thinks the former, obviously.
She is not an expert in Japan or its politics or society, but if she reads Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife, it will bring her quickly up to speed and a possible jail sentence.
There is a quote in a New York Times article about the appointment that says:
“What you really want in an ambassador is someone who can get the president of the United States on the phone,” Mr. Campbell said. “I can’t think of anybody in the United States who could do that more quickly than Caroline Kennedy.”
Geezus. That's very leading.
With that in mind… let's take a look at a possible phone call from Ambassador Caroline Kennedy to President Barrack Obama:
"Uh… Hello… Caro… is that you baby?… Sorry for making you wait 20 minutes… Yes, I find that muzak version of the Led Zeppelin II album to be quite refreshing… uh-huh… so, how's the sushi? … I said, how's the sushi? … it's rice wrapped up in seaweed… uh… seaweed… that's a green aquatic plant that grows in the ocean… uh, no… I wouldn't sh!t you… No, I don't know why they don't use lettuce, but I do know that the seaweed is quite good for… no, no…uh-huh… yeah… yeah… yup… Uh, I'm pretty sure you didn't see Godzilla… well, I'm sure it wasn't the real Godzilla. We have been monitoring Monster Island, and our satellite data shows he is still there battling Gamara or something… okay, not Gamara. Is there some other monster that looks like a giant turtle?… yeah?… that one, then…
So… you called? Was there anything of import you needed to communicate to me? … it's hot right now… about 93 degrees and I'm wearing my presidential briefs - the one's with Uncle Sam on the front pointing and saying 'I Want You'… is it hot in Tokyo, Caro? … what's that? You're sweating heavily but when you check the temperature gauge it says it is 32… uh-huh… you know, beautiful, Japan uses the Metric system as a way to measure things like temperature, weight, height, speed and things like that… I wouldn't call the Japanese strange little fuggs, after all every country in the world uses Metric except us… uh, we use the Imperial System… uh… it's named after the British Imperial System… uh… no… we are no longer… uh… there was that whole Independence thing you might recall… (sigh) yes… the one with Will Smith… yes, I agree. Will Smith kicks it Kennedy-style.
"Uh… look Caro… I have to go… was there anything else? … me? No, no, no. You first. Tell me what you are wearing… "
Okay… just having some fun there. I'm sure Caro is a fine choice for President Obama and whatever it is he has planned for Japan.
Read The New York Times article HERE to see how Caroline will handle her Japan duties.
She's kindda hot, eh, even though it's only 32 degrees.
Cheers
Andrew Joseph
Photo of Caroline Bouvier Kennedy at Barnes & Noble in New York on October 2, 2008 - photo by Martyna Borkowski from Wikipedia.
Bouvier? She has the same name as Marge Bouvier Simpson? Far out!
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