You know... I've asked myself that very question so many these past few years, that it's become soy funny.
People, there are far too many jokes - mostly dirty - that I could expose you all to, but I shall take the higher ground, which for me is still probably underground for most of you.
Welcome to the world of Neko-Sushi, which is Japanese for 'Sushi Cat'. Now I am sure some of you cat-haters and Japanese haters already assume the Japanese eat cat, but no... I don't think they do. Probably not. Never. Right? I doubt it. Hey, look at the time... let's continue...
Meet Tange & Nakimushi Peanuts, a Japanese company that offers apps of posters/postcards of cats dressed for dinner. Or should that be dressed as dinner?
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| Neko Zushi nyatai - order up! |
Cats as sushi? Sure! Haven't you ever been hungry enough to eat a horse? Well, this is Japanese food - there's never enough food on your plate, you think, and yet you somehow get filled up. I think it's the rice and not the cat.
Just as we leave the skin on the fish when we eat, so to have these whacked out Apps designers done the same to the Tabi (tabby). Don't worry, to take a bite before it scratches your eyes out, always start at the head to avoid a counter-attack, and then swallow a bottle of your favorite sake.
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| Randomly tossing in a line from Get Smart! for no reason: "Not the craw... the craw!" |
And then a second bottle. Don't even open the bottle of booze - just swallow the bottle. You just ate a cat! You will apparently eat anything. What the fug is wrong with you?
This is Japanese food!
It's a work of art and is not meant for public consumption, unless it is, in which case go right ahead.
Emm sent me the story - and asked me if I think its existential or drug-induced. I think its existentialism best-served with a side-order of hallucinogenic pharmaceuticals - or a lot of wasabe.
Don't believe me... check out the You Tube video below. I nearly blew a saucer of milk out of my nose. It's a big nose.
Don't worry - there's nothing dirty and no cats were hurt during the filming of the film. Watch it - I'll wait.
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Wasn't that hilarious?! You didn't watch it? Stop being cheap - dump the dial-up and go to something resembling high-speed.
Which neko sushi is your favorite? Oh come one - you can't be too fed up with their treatment of animals! Haven't you ever had a Kit Kat before? They make a nice light snack.
I know, I know... how could anyone think that eating a nice pussy, er, cat could be fun? Cats are pets!
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| Those things on my back... they take what size battery? |
We do eat catfish, don't we? Sushi was originally a fish and rice meal. Well, if we follow the whole Zen Buddhist thing, because there is something zen about making sushi (or so I just made up):
1) cats eat fish.
2) with neko sushi, the cat sits on the rice where the fish should be.
3) Why?
4) Exactly.
You have just achieved zen.
It's like that old joke:
Q: How many transcendentalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The fish.
Exactly. But now the cat replaces the fish. Why?
Zeeeeeeennnnnnn!
Anyhow... these creators are nuts - peanuts, even and I wish I could work with them. I like cats. I like sushi. I like dressing my food up in furs to look like cats. Ohhhhh... I see... I work backwards....
Anyhow... in case you are wondering... there are other types of sushi available - see the video showing the History of the Sushi Cats:
While sushi certainly isn't everyone's cat's meow, it does give one paws...
Andrew "Hwaaaaaaaaaccccccccccch" Joseph
By the way... if that tamago (sweet egg omelet) neko sushi cat at the very top could speak, he would say F$@* you. He just has that look, doesn't he?
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