For example, there is 'work hot'. These are the women to whom the heterosexual man may think is attractive, but not attractive enough for when you are on the prowl at the local bar.
But, after working near them for a while, these women take on near-mythical proportions and become 'work hot' where you spend an inordinate amount of time wondering how you could screw her/them without messing up your marriage.
But, since this blog is about Japan, why does it seem that there are large swathes of men out around the globe who have it in their mind that they really want to date, screw or marry a Japanese woman because they are the greatest thing since sliced sushi.
Really, there are men out there who will only date Japanese women. Of course, there are men out there who will only date blondes, women with big tits, women with bubble butts, women who are gymnasts, women who are stupid and easy - whatever.
So… what is it about Japanese women that makes men go gaga?
Do Japanese women appear hotter the longer a man is around them? Does desperation breed tiny monsters? Yes!
I know for a fact that when I got to Japan, there were a few Japanese teachers I thought were cute, but after working alongside them and watching them flirt with me, or smelling their perfume, they became 'work hot'.
I must say I only once slept with a female teacher from work in Japan as a one-night stand when we had sex in a change room at school.
But… regardless of 'work hot', foreign men do seem to have a healthy/unhealthy fascination for Japanese women.
Why?
Let's take a bride look at some possible reasons - some based on fact and other based on stupidity, which I suppose is also a fact.
Exotic looks Unless the man is already from a nation where Asian women are the 'dominant' form, a Japanese woman can appear exotic.
There's the obvious shape of the eyes, the skin tones, texture of the hair, structure of the body or facial cheekbones - all physical differences that can make a man go wild.
Of course, when it comes to the exotic looks, it's not like Japan has a lock amongst the Asian countries. I won't list them all, but dammit, did you see the women at the 2012 Miss Universe Pageant?
I love Miss Universe Japan, but dammit, take your pick!
Cultural Differences The term cultural differences is a broad statement, because the cultural difference in question her is that foreign men tend to believe that the Japanese female is more subservient that those in other countries.
This begs the initial statement - what the heck do you want a subservient woman for? Do you want a slave? A maid? Someone to act like your mommy? Is it purely a sexual fantasy that a subservient woman will allow you to do whatever you want to her? Y'know, if a person really likes you, there's a pretty good chance they will let you do whatever you want anyway, regardless of where they are from. I know many women who are subservient, but will turn on a dime to make you act subservient. It's a role reversal dynamic that keeps everyone on their toes and makes things interesting and always more fun. So I hear.
Now, on the surface, of the numerous Japanese women I have dated in the past, the vast majority of them were subservient.
And I hate that. I prefer a bit of a shake-up.
I was engaged to a wonderful intelligent and sexy Japanese woman of my own age and general disposition. She was a Japanese teacher of English at one of the schools I taught at - and no, she's not the one night stand. She would come over for companionship (I'm being polite), but during an intermission, she would begin picking up clothes (mine) to do my laundry, or try to do the dishes - all butt naked.
Now… while that was indeed sexy, I don't need her doing my laundry or dishes. While I appreciate the effort, I didn't need a slave (in that way) or a maid, and told her to relax and catch her breath before we started the next round of 'companionship'.
She would do that also on a simple visit - I don't need her to pick-up after me - I actually did laundry and vacuumed several times a week. I kept a clean and tidy place.
So, me - a man - and a gaijin man - telling her I don't need her to clean up my apartment, well… the confused look on her face spoke volumes about sexism in Japan.
Telling her I didn't need her to be my maid had never happened to her before, and in all of Japan it may never have happened again in the ensuing 20 years.
Of course... now married to a Canadian woman, I really do wish I had a slave or a maid to keep the house tidy. I would have said 'tidier', but that would imply there was even a tiny bit of tidiness.
Now... let's suppose you get a Japanese woman as a girlfriend who has been your servant, and you want her to be your wife to serve you til death do you part – well, guess what – mission accomplished.
Only not YOUR mission. Hers. Will she really be your servant now, of you hers? Having known many Japanese women, I can honestly say they are not slaves. Yes, many are stay-at-home moms who look after the family and house, but many also have jobs and money of their own, and rightfully expect you, the man, to help out around the house.
I’m reminded of a line from WKRP In Cincinnati, one of my favorite TV shows from 30 years ago: “Come on Herb. Don’t forget to mow the lawn or no num-nums tonight.”
Personality Personality? Are you serious? Japanese women have bubbly personalities? Sure they do. And many do not. Just like anywhere in the world, personalities may vary.
You might be wondering how I came up this list? Well, I found a dialogue on-line where men and women were chiming in on what makes men desire Japanese women. To be honest, I found it pretty insipid. And degrading to my intelligence.
I make no bones about the fact that when I first saw Nobuko sitting at her desk in the teacher’s office of Nozaki Chu Gakko (Nozaki Junior High School) in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, my heart skipped a beat. And while that was okay when I was younger, and skipping of a heartbeat now, isn’t so good – and yet, it feels so good when it happens.
I saw Nobuko and didn’t see a beautiful Japanese woman. I saw a beautiful woman. Period.
Impeccably dressed. A woman’s hair cut – not a little girl’s. Perfume that was subtle but over-powering to my man senses. She made me write poetry – and I’ve never done that before or since. I’ve written a story for one special woman, but for Nobuko, it was a poem.
It may have been a Japanese poem, but it was a Japanese poem for a beautiful woman.
I really feel sorry for people who seek out Japanese women as though they were some prize at the bottom of a pack of Cracker Jack.
You wouldn’t believe the flack I took while I was in Japan because I dated a lot of gaijin women. To be honest, gaijin women need love too, and they were only getting it from sexist Japanese men – so Andrew to the rescue. Method to my madness, but again, I realized I was pigeon-holing myself.
What would my life have been like if I refused to embrace a woman just because of her nationality? That’s racist, and I’m no hypocrite.
Yes, in my immaturity I used to only be interested in blondes – but I was 12. Then blondes with big tits – 18-22. By the time I grew up, I realized I had no one. Just stupid desires of immature fantasies.
Why do men seek out Japanese women – immaturity. Their own. Let me just state to any Japanese women out there – if you are dating a man who says he loves Japanese women, he needs to grow up. He thinks you are special because you were born in Japan. Millions of people are born in Japan. Aren’t you more special than that?
Now – here’s a stupid reason for wanting a Japanese woman. I actually knew a guy who was in his mid-20s like myself then, who actually asked me if Japanese women had their vagina placed sideways – to look like another eye. His goal was to sleep with a Japanese woman to find out if that was true.
While I have no doubt that sleeping with a woman to find out the truth about body parts is an interesting way to problem solve, I’m pretty sure I would have looked up an encyclopedia in the library (this was in the days before the Internet), or stolen a porno magazine featuring busty Asian chicks.
He was genuinely disappointed when I informed him that Japanese women had their vagina placed in an upright position like a tray on an airplane coming in for a landing.
And... I am being completely serious here. This really happened.
I have other friends who say they hate Asian women. Really? That’s pretty damn racist! I have no idea why I am friends with some people. How do you hate that genre of people? What about personality – the real personality, intelligence, charm, wit, sex appeal, beauty, ability to get a job, have kids, polish your silverware? I can never do this list justice. It’s like I’m explaining why I fell in love – who knows? Was it a kiss, a bit of shared past, smarts, looks? You can never say – it just is.
And to limit yourself? Ugh.
Look, I like Japanese women – just not all of them. The same with Canadian women, Russian women, German women, French women, Polish women, Australian women, Kiwis, Chinese, Thai, Cambodian, Angolan, South African, Spanish, Portuguese, Brazilian, Ecuadorian... it goes on... really... have you ever seen a Miss Universe pageant? If one of those women came up to you and said they thought you were handsome, a part of you would stand up and take notice. You wouldn’t reject them because they are from Sweden, and you have a moral hatred for Volvo!
Ugh.
I would hope the answer to why men like Japanese women is an easy one.
“I don’t – but I happen to like this woman who happens to be Japanese.”
But I’m afraid not everyone has the maturity to believe that.
Cheers
Andrew Joseph
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